Five Courses Every School Should Offer

Budget cutbacks face nearly every educational organization. While traditional subjects such as reading, writing and arithmetic are still mainstays of the American education system, other classes such as physical education, home economics, and art have been reduced or eliminated. With smaller staffs and increased attendance, important and necessary classes are being omitted, requiring people to struggle with basic life skills – some going their whole life without mastering capabilities that contribute to a more peaceful existence and self-sufficiency.

Recognizing this, and not wanting my own children to face this disadvantage, I’m toying with the idea of opening an educational institution with the following courses:

1.    Cabinet Shutting – you can do it too! Instead of grabbing a snack and walking away from the open cabinet, imagine being able to instinctively shut the door. This class will teach the simple swoop method and clues such as not being able to see the messy contents and the sound of a closing cabinet. No prerequisite required!

2.    Changing the Toilet Paper Roll – it’s Totally Tubular! This class will teach the basics of popping off the spindle, discarding the cardboard roll and reassembling the dispensing unit. Through this practical hands-on workshop, attendees will confidently be able to change the toilet paper roll if they’ve used the last sheet.

3.    Putting the Seat Down – students that have successfully changed the toilet paper roll are ready for advanced bathroom behaviors such as lowering the seat. Whether the method is a small flick of the ring finger or the foot technique, graduates can boast this skill to female partners. Believe me, it’s not overrated!

4.    Identifying a Closet – Wow, those Doors Shut Too! Although doorknobs and chairs can hold clothing, specially-designed devices known as hangers keep clothes off the floors and furniture and make it easy to identify clean from dirty clothes. Cabinet shutting is a prerequisite.

5.    Letting Go – Hoarder Helpers Rescue. Understanding the compelling draw to keep half eaten candy bars, torn magazines, shirts with perma-stains and other collectibles, this course will demonstrate purging techniques and help students learn that putting back an empty box of Chips Ahoy cookies never does anyone any good.

Feel free to leave suggested curriculum in the comments!