Happy Mother's Day!

When we went out to restaurants, my mother always ate the heel of the bread. I never understood how she could like it. Usually crunchy, crumbly and dry, even a generous slathering of butter couldn’t improve it. But she asked for it first as the rest of us tore at the soft, stretchy remaining part of the loaf.

Years later, I find myself eating burnt pizza crust, the scrapings of the bottom of the macaroni and cheese pot, the misshapen bagels, or apples that are bruised. It’s not that I like these culinary misfits, but I’m a mother now.

I spend my money on sports jerseys and summer camps, not designer clothes or dream-worthy vacations. I wake in the morning thinking of schedules and science fairs and unsupervised parties. I plan my evenings around carpool schedules and football practices. I stay up late when I’m tired to make sure my teenager gets home safe or to watch a movie with my youngest.

While the physical transition to motherhood can be jarring, the emotional hold is surreptitious. You don’t notice the little sacrifices that bring you to nurture and care, more deeply than you ever thought possible.

I scoff a bit at the idea of Mother’s Day, a Hallmark-invented holiday to drive up sales of flowers and gift cards. But at the same time, I appreciate the reminder to think of the things my own mother did for me. I never thought about the days she was too tired to get dinner on the table but did it anyway. Or the intense worry she must have felt when I was a teenager out doing teenage things. Or that maybe there was a time she didn’t like eating the crusty end from the bread basket.

But being a mother for more than a decade now, I recognize that love isn’t always about making a proclamation or being a perfect parent. It’s told through little things like driving an economy car, spending weekends freezing on metal bleachers, and eating the burnt piece of chicken.

I love being a mother and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Even though it’s a Hallmark holiday, I’m happy to have a day to celebrate all the women and mothers. I don’t want flowers or perfume or even the doughy center of a fresh-baked semolina, but appreciation would be nice.

If you’re reading this, you have a mother to thank.

 Happy Mother’s Day!

Book Review: Medium Raw

Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook by Anthony Bourdain

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I read Kitchen Confidential years ago so I was excited when Medium Raw reached the top of my reading pile. I thought it was too self-serving (the inside baseball stuff didn't make for a hearty appetizer) and it was undercooked in parts.

Overall, Medium Raw was simply not well done enough for me.



View all my reviews

Ten Business Truisms

This is a condensed list originally written by BNET’s Steve Tobak. I like it, and thought I’d share it.

1. People won’t perform for those they don’t respect.
2. If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, you won’t be successful at it.
3. When you have problems with others, look inside yourself for answers.
4. The workplace is about business, not you.
5. Conflict is healthy; anger is not. Get some help for that.
6. No matter how smart you are, wisdom only comes from experience.
7. Whine and complain all you want; nobody gives a crap.
8. You can BS others but you really can’t BS yourself.
9. The boss isn’t always right, but she’s still the boss.
10. The customer isn’t always right, but she’s still the customer

Rethinking Loyalty

Work hard, contribute often and you’ll be rewarded. That’s what I was told when I entered the workforce in the mid ‘80s. It was a time when people held jobs for decades and worked their way up the ranks.

Back then, I worked for a large corporation and while there was a great deal of cutthroat behavior, there was an unspoken rule that said if you did what you were told to do but also took moderate risks to innovate, you’d be rewarded. My boss at the time instilled this in all of us freshman employees with frequent reminders and examples of what you had to do to get ahead.

We took those lessons as gospel until the day the office doors shut one by one. HR professionals and managers entered two-by-two and left as displaced workers cried, screamed and packed up their belongings. It was the first mass layoff I ever experienced. They didn’t dress it up with terms like downsizing then; you were laid off, canned, fired and no longer part of the corporate community where you toiled for days, years, on weekends, holidays and after hours. The simple truth is you were no longer relevant.

I was one of the lucky ones who not only stayed, but thrived. I continued working hard, achieving promotions and recognition for my contributions. Years later, I was passed over for a promotion and was told that I was too young and needed a few more years experience before achieving the next level. My boss at the time sabotaged me, but I chalked it up to her deficiency, never blaming the company. My sense of loyalty remained strong because I hadn’t yet realized that at the end of the day, we work for individuals, not corporations, no matter how big the organization.

As my career progressed, I continued to work hard and give it my all whether it was something small like helping a colleague or a monumental event like launching a new product. I brought that strong work ethic and loyalty to every company I ever worked for, but I never stopped to think about the company’s loyalty to me.

When I left the corporate world for agency life, I was no longer just a cog in a wheel but an integral component to success. The agencies I worked for treated me well as an employee and human, and made me feel they invested as much in me as I did as them. Then the dotcom era happened and things changed. Everyone really did become replaceable. One-half of the agency I worked for spun off and changed their focus and the other half did the same. I stayed with both as a consultant, but as economic conditions worsened, it became apparent I needed to do grow my business.

I did that by being loyal to my clients, working hard and making each one a priority. While it was gnawing at the back of my mind, it wasn’t until recently that I realized I am not a priority to any of my clients. No matter how good I am, I’m just a consultant, and in their eyes, easily replaceable.

Working hard is something that’s just in me; I cannot change that. But I have changed my outlook on loyalty, particularly as it encompasses the client-consultant relationship. That first boss once told me it’s important to like what you do, but equally important to never love your job because your job won’t love you back.

Loyalty in personal relationships is an admirable attribute but at work, it’s a wasted sentiment in today’s what have you done for me lately culture. While working hard is engrained in my nature, I’ve got a new perspective and will never make a client a priority when I’m only an option.

Five Courses Every School Should Offer

Budget cutbacks face nearly every educational organization. While traditional subjects such as reading, writing and arithmetic are still mainstays of the American education system, other classes such as physical education, home economics, and art have been reduced or eliminated. With smaller staffs and increased attendance, important and necessary classes are being omitted, requiring people to struggle with basic life skills – some going their whole life without mastering capabilities that contribute to a more peaceful existence and self-sufficiency.

Recognizing this, and not wanting my own children to face this disadvantage, I’m toying with the idea of opening an educational institution with the following courses:

1.    Cabinet Shutting – you can do it too! Instead of grabbing a snack and walking away from the open cabinet, imagine being able to instinctively shut the door. This class will teach the simple swoop method and clues such as not being able to see the messy contents and the sound of a closing cabinet. No prerequisite required!

2.    Changing the Toilet Paper Roll – it’s Totally Tubular! This class will teach the basics of popping off the spindle, discarding the cardboard roll and reassembling the dispensing unit. Through this practical hands-on workshop, attendees will confidently be able to change the toilet paper roll if they’ve used the last sheet.

3.    Putting the Seat Down – students that have successfully changed the toilet paper roll are ready for advanced bathroom behaviors such as lowering the seat. Whether the method is a small flick of the ring finger or the foot technique, graduates can boast this skill to female partners. Believe me, it’s not overrated!

4.    Identifying a Closet – Wow, those Doors Shut Too! Although doorknobs and chairs can hold clothing, specially-designed devices known as hangers keep clothes off the floors and furniture and make it easy to identify clean from dirty clothes. Cabinet shutting is a prerequisite.

5.    Letting Go – Hoarder Helpers Rescue. Understanding the compelling draw to keep half eaten candy bars, torn magazines, shirts with perma-stains and other collectibles, this course will demonstrate purging techniques and help students learn that putting back an empty box of Chips Ahoy cookies never does anyone any good.

Feel free to leave suggested curriculum in the comments!

Smug Satisfaction

Smug Satisfaction

I don’t remember my grandmother ever saying you get more bees with honey than vinegar, but it’s a life lesson I learned early on. I think that’s the main reason I’m not a fighter unless it’s with a customer service representative (I see you Cablevision).

That’s not to say I am a doormat; there are some things that are just not worth fighting about. On any given day, I come up against that at work. It’s funny being a consultant. There are times when your worth is valued, because the client knows you have experience across multiple domains or a specialized skill set but there are other times when you are “just a consultant.” One of my friends experienced that on Valentine’s Day when the fulltime employees were gifted with large-size Hershey Bars and the onsite consultants were overlooked.

So, respecting those boundaries, I often limit how far I go in pushing back on ideas or policies and am willing to let things smooth themselves over before making a fuss. Recently, I submitted a series of ideas and nearly all were rejected on initial review. Submit them anyway, I’d said. This time I pushed back because I felt they were wrong but would have let it go if they disagreed. Every member of the team participated and the client reviewed them as a single pack.

Don’t you know, the ones they liked best were the ones I submitted?

At my college graduation, someone said to me one day you will have an idea. You will go into someone’s office and share it. They will tell you it’s stupid. It’s up to you to go back to your office and decide if they’re right.

You don’t have to fight; but you have to believe in yourself. The validation felt good, especially because every time the client slips from “valued partner” to “just a consultant,” there’s a little smug satisfaction that comes with demonstrating your worth.

Drowning in the Kool-Aid

Social media will save your soul and your business! Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure you’ve been witness to the heightened enthusiasm of communication professionals as they declare the second coming of communication, affectionately known as Web 2.0.

Even though my business model includes a large social media component, I’ve had it “up to here” with all the social media zealots. Don’t get me wrong – I love Facebook for keeping up with friends, using Twitter to see what kinds of trending topics people are talking about or to connect with business associates. But, there’s a lack of equilibrium between the so-called experts and people who want to use social media to promote their business.

If the rest of your processes are broken or your product is lackluster, social media isn’t going to help until you get the foundation of your house in order. If a consultant is telling you that social media is what will fill your pipeline or accelerate sales, they’re only right if they’re including social media as part of a larger marketing strategy.

Because social media is fairly new and continuing to evolve, note that the experts aren’t always right, and it’s your responsibility as a marketer to challenge them and ensure you’re proceeding with best-practices and not drowning in the Kool-Aid being served by social media consultants.

What are some best-practices you should follow?

*Blogging is fantastic for demonstrating thought leadership or adding a human voice to your company. Strike a balance! It’s great to provide readers with informative and actionable information, but showing your culture’s personality can also strengthen connections or inspire people to want to know you better. Don’t be afraid to mix professionalism and personality!

*Know your strategy. Social media experts would have you believe that every tweet needs to generate conversation. Not true! Sometimes it *is* about broadcasting. Sharing a link to other’s works or pointing followers to a press release isn’t a bad thing and not every post requires a litany of responses. Keep in mind the social networks are great for generating SEO. Do you want to be found, do you want to interact or are you hoping to achieve both? Understand your goals and then develop a strategy to support it.

*Be flexible! Yes, you can use tools like HootSuite to schedule tweets, but there will be instances you need to respond in real time. Be present! Monitor what is being said about you and identify opportunities to connect with customers and extend your message.

*Break restraints. Yes, short, pithy blogs are more likely to be read all the way through, but if you’ve got depth of subject matter expertise and a good story to tell, let the post dictate its length. Anyone who says “posts should not be longer than 300 words” is likely short-changing readers and your product message.

*Embrace the birds of a feather business philosophy. Want to go places? Align with people who can take you there. That means put some time into connecting with other thought leaders and influencers who are either on the same path or understand where you’re going and can help you achieve your goals.